I thought I had just gotten over the Karate Kid remake that was recently released worldwide to a new generation who haven't seen or who don't know about the awesomeness of the original John Avildsen classic. All they're going to gather is a half-assed performance by a shitty actor, Jaden Smith, son of another shitty actor, Will Smith. What this generation is gonna see, and spend their good money on, is another lazy attempt by Hollywood to release films of little or no substance just to make a quick buck. I guess that's what the entire scheme of the illusion of Hollywood is, right? Now, for those of you who know me personally, or who follow my rants on Facebook, know how I feel about remakes. For me, personally, I know remakes have been around since the dawn of cinema, but today it's just out of control. I say, if you're making an attempt at a remake, you had better bring something to the table. Otherwise, don't even fucking bother wasting our time with your lazy, shitty excuse of a film. Remakes are like their own category now. I bet within my lifetime, awards will be handed out for best movie remake. Now don't get me wrong, there have been a few remake gems that are worth mentioning because the director brought his/her own vision and take on them and made it their own. Films like John Carpenter's THE THING, Tom Savini's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN have proved that you can put your own twist and interpretation on a classic and still make it tolerable to watch. I just realized that all of the films I mentioned were horror films, interesting. I mention horror films because there's a great element with horror and that is the scare. When watching a great horror film, you do get that little chill that slowly crawls up your spine and progresses through the little hairs on the back of your neck and causes you to shift in your seat to a more comfortable position. That right there is the creative team placing you in these situations and making you escape reality. You know a horror film is great when you can watch it again and again, knowing full well what is going to happen and to who, yet you still go for the ride because there's a certain part of our psyche that wants to experience the thrill again.
Now, what these parasites in Hollywood have done is take someone else's creation and hard work and sell the name. They go for the quick jolt and make a lot of noise, but their films don't say shit! Earlier this summer I made the unfortunate mistake of giving the remake of one of my favorite horror franchises, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, a chance. When I arrived to the theater, I was almost certain that the movie would be an utter failure. But, a little voice inside of me said,'maybe this won't be so bad. Maybe Hollywood can get something right this time and the old school horror fans will appreciate the attempt to remake a horror classic'. That little voice was immediately silenced when I purchased my ticket. I asked the theater employee what he thought about the film. His response was hesitant: not a good sign. He looked up at the ceiling as if looking to the heavens for the right answer. The words that escaped his mouth were,'it's for kids. It's just really loud, that's all'. This coming from the person who is taking my money! I bought the ticket anyway and decided I had to see this first hand.
My experience watching this film was one of the worst cinematic experiences I have ever had. The writing was weak, the directing was shit and the narrative was poorly structured. We weren't quite sure who the focus of the film was because the director spent so much time concentrating on one character and doesn't bring the main focus on the main character til past the halfway mark of the film. There was no originality in the story at all. Many scenes were blatantly ripped from the original and the dialogue was some of the worst lines I had ever heard. It was like I said when I first saw the trailer in theaters: "man, this is like Degrassi!". My words remain true.
I believe Hollywood has created a monster and it doesn't look like the end is in sight. As aspiring filmmakers live, eat and breathe films and who suffer for their art, Hollywood is trying to cash in on what was once pure and authentic. All these manufactured and mass-produced films are making it more and more difficult for filmmakers with promise to leave their mark with the masses. Multiplex cinemas devour independently owned theaters to showcase mind-numbing crap that has no substance. We must support independent theaters who feature independent films because these films will surprise you. There are many stories just waiting to find an audience. These are the films that tackle subjects that will intrigue you, shock you and make think.
Some films Hollywood has recently remade and/or planning to remake for a quick dollar.
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