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MACHETE Review

Oooooooooooooooooh! What's this?! Hot women! Violence! Blood! Action! What more can you ask for, right? Well, there's plenty to ask for after I saw the film MACHETE. I, along with every Danny Trejo/Robert Rodriguez fan was super stoked to see this classic Grindhouse Trailer. I couldn't wait to see what crazy shenanigans Rodriguez was going to come up with. What I didn't expect was the disappointment I felt when I left the theater. Something about this film just didn't sit well with me. It felt rushed, incomplete and really scattered.I felt there was something missing in the storyline. The action was great and what you would expect from a Rodriguez film, but the story suffered. Although the film is of the exploitation genre, I believe this gives the director a bigger canvas to paint on because there are no boundaries when it comes to exploitation films.

There were ingredients in the film that were great such as the numerous cameos made by cast members of the original Grindhouse flick Planet Terror. It was awesome seeing the familiar faces such as the Avellan sisters who kick ass in this film as they did in Grindhouse, but that didn't distract me long enough from the fact that there was something missing. 

The writing was definitely lacking the power of what the director is capable. I felt that they were trying to cash in on ultra-cool lines like you would expect from this type of film. I felt they were trying too hard to capture that awesome moment in Once Upon a Time in Mexico  between Johnny Depp and Danny Trejo where the famous phrase "Are you a Mexi-can or a Mexi-can't?" was born. Maybe the actors didn't have the right amount of cool to deliver these over the top phrases. 

That brings me to another point about the film that bothered me.The casting, for the most part, was great. Michelle Rodriguez nailed it as SHE, a female revolutionary icon to the people in support of the movement. She was very sexy in that leather outfit and eye patch I must say, but that still didn't stop me from not liking the movie. This film had so much potential for greatness, but I feel the filmmakers didn't use what they had to their full potential. I mean, you've got Robert De Niro, Don Johnson, Cheech Marin, Tom Savini for christ's sakes and I didn't like it?! There must be something wrong here! Oh yeah, I forgot, Fucking Lindsay Lohan showed up pretty much as her usual cracked-out, shit-don't-stink attitude and made the film worse for me. Yeah, she was 'naked' and cursing and smoking and shooting guns, but did that contribute anything to the film? NO! She has no purpose in this film. The nudity of her character isn't even her own! It's the body of the original actress in the original trailer. The only time there is even an ounce of nudity on her behalf, she's covering the goods with her shitty-bleached-out hair. Her acting is horrendous, even for Lindsay Lohan, yeah, I'm being a Mean Girl. Fuck You Lohan! I hate how that was the main focus of this film when she didn't contribute shit!Everyone was making a big fucking deal that she was going to kick ass and be naked and what not. Bullshit. The GOOD nudity was contributed by Mayra Leal in the beginning of the film and she kicked ass, literally, all while wearing her birthday suit. Seeing her kicking ass in the buff during those first few minutes of the film had be ready to be rocked off my socks, but in the end I was left feeling cheated.You know the film doesn't make an impression on me when there's a killer cast, violence, blood, humor and action  and it leaves me pissed off. Although this was an exploitation flick, I still wanted more. 

So, if you want to save money, i would recommend seeing MACHETE at a dollar theater or wait to Netflix it.  I think they should have just left this film alone and let it exist as a fake trailer that was legendary in its own right. 

MACHETE RED BAND TRAILER

MURDER at the HELL HOUSE

This was my very first short film I directed during my internship with Tvlesson.com . I am very proud of this film because I began the internship with absolutely no experience at all. After a few months of writing,editing,directing in a few tutorial videos, I gained experience in different aspects of filmmaking. For our final project, we were to submit a short film script and out of the 15 scripts entered, only 4 would be chosen. I had a few stories in mind, but there was one that I had written out a year before just for fun that i thought would be a perfect short film project. So, after a few revisions, I submitted my script to the voting panel. After our scripts were voted on, we had the option to convince the panel why we should direct the short films. I went ahead and did it because I knew that only I knew what this film should look like. I went in to that conference room prepared with storyboards of the various deaths that would occur within the film. I explained why I should direct this project because I am a die hard horror fan. At the end of the day, they announced that my script was chosen and that I would direct the film! I was on cloud 9!

Then, about 2 days later, my grandfather became ill and was hospitalized. He was 88 years old, and his time had come. His body had begun to shut down and it was only a matter of time before he would leave this world.After a short stay in the hospital, he was released to hospice care and he would live his remaining days in bed in his home. On the week we were set to shoot the film, our main actress backed out of the project, 4 days before we were to shoot! So, I scheduled an emergency audition to be held the next day at the TvLesson building. On the day of the audition, I received a phone call around 7 and I was informed that my grandfather had passed away. It was such a huge loss for me. He, along with my father, molded me into the film enthusiast I am today. He was such a beautiful man. Everybody whoever came in contact with him, even for a brief period of time felt his warmth and his kindness. After hearing the news, I went to visit him in his death bed to pay my respects. I was devastated to say the least.

I toughened up and went through with the audition that was to be held that day. I left my grandfather's bedside and auditioned a few actresses. Summer Malone walked into the room and I knew immediately that she was the one to play Stacy. We went through the script and she acted every scene out exactly the way I had imagined it. I was no longer worried about the shoot. I couldn't wait to bring this story to life.

Because of conflicts with the Catholic Church's Holy Week, there could be no funeral services on the week we wanted to have the funeral services for my grandfather. We didn't want to wait 2 weeks to lay him to rest, so the family decided to have the funeral that very same week that he had passed. It was tough, but it had to be done. I cancelled the Friday night shoot because the viewing was scheduled on that night and there was no way for me to get there. So, that cut our original 3 day shooting schedule down to 2 days. I was not worried because I had a solid team of actors and an amazing crew backing me up. On the day of my grandfather's funeral, I immediately left the cemetary once the services concluded and I bolted to the shooting location.

Once I arrived and saw all the equipment set up and the actors and crew hanging out, my heart swelled with joy. Everybody greeted me with warm smiles and they seemed to be having fun which, for those of you who know me, is important to me. The fist scene I directed was the shower scene between Spliff and Stacy and all I kept thinking to myself was,'I'm finally doing this!' All the actors were troopers and they gave me 100% every time. The first day of shooting went very well and we wrapped it up early because the next day we were scheduled to shoot for 12 hours straight.

The second and last day of shooting was a flawless day. Everybody did what they had to do and then some, the deaths looked amazing, and everybody was having fun! I was particularly worried about how realistic the deaths were going to look and how we would execute them, no pun intended. Believe it or not, the most difficult scene to shoot was the car pulling up on the driveway. We just breezed through the day working our asses off and having fun at the same time. It helps to be prepared and have a hard working team by your side.Joe Rodriguez made the shoot run smoothly and did an awesome job as producer, Joe Ngo set up some awesome shots, Judith Lin brought the brutality of the deaths to life and Ashley Gannon did an amazing job with the makeup and the wounds. The actors were a fun group to work with and everybody got along even though we were all strangers. Everybody was really funny and this came across through the film. Summer Malone brought the innocence to the role of Stacy, Gabe Fonseca delivered a great funny and dramatic performance as Spliff, Vicki Goldsmith and Ronnie Alvarez really came through as the down and dirty couple and Joe Valdez kicked ass as Roach delivered those lines the only way I know he can and last but not least, Jeff Trenkle brought the wickedness as the killer. So, at 2am on Sunday, we wrapped the shoot up, cleaned the set and called it a night. The following weeks we tightened up the shots, added some distortions to give the film a grindhouse look and edited the music. It was turning out better than I could ever imagine. I decided to dedicate the film to my grandfather.

On the last day of the internship, we screened our 4 short films and the company voted on the films they liked best and our film won best film! I was so stoked to hear those words. Immediately after, we went to Hollywood where we had scheduled a premier party to showcase our films and the films of other aspiring filmmakers. The turnout was great, the room was packed and everybody was entertained. Our film got a great response and I heard a few 'eeeewwwww's' and a few screams which made the experience even better for me. I am forever grateful to my friends and crew for their support in making this film. You guys are the best!

It began with a phone call...

It began as a typical Sunday. The weather was nice, the sun was shining and I was at home thinking about what I was going to do that day. The day grew and yet there was nothing. Hour after hour had passed, no messages received, the programming schedule for both tv and cable were not to my liking. There was nothing.  Then the phone rang.

My good friend, Mondo, of the Lowdown Radio Show informed me that he had an extra ticket for the She and Him  concert and asked if i wanted to go. I agreed to attend this show immediately. I got ready, got in my car and went forth on my last minute Sunday adventure. Had I known what was about to occur ahead of time, I would have driven to my destination just a little bit faster.

I had arrived to Ashley's house and all the attendees were there ready to go to the show. We were well equipped with snacks, drinks and the essential ingredient to make any concert just a little bit better. Mondo, Oscar and I ventured to Mondo's car to begin the festivities. We began smoking a freshly packed bowl of California's finest herb and began conversing about what the day had in store for us. We were trying to figure out how we were to continue our little ritual in the venue and that's when Mondo, like a seasoned magician, brought up his hand to reveal that he had acquired two nicely rolled joints for the special occasion. Needless to say, our concerns floated out out the car window like the smoke that was filling it. Our problem was solved.

Our group proceeded to fill Melissa's car. With everybody in place and Katt sitting on the floor of the van, we took off to the Hollywood Bowl. The trip was a pleasant one. There was no traffic and the vibes in the vehicle were positive. We spent the entire trip doing what we know best: talking shit to each other. Once we arrived to the Hollywood Bowl, we dispersed and began the long crawl to the top of the concert venue. If you have never been to this particular venue, one of the perks of this amazing place is that they allow outside food and alcohol in the concert! We were more than prepared. Oscar took charge of the group and we set forth to our designated seating area. One thing about the Hollywood Bowl is the long uphill walk. We were fortunate because the sun was beginning its decent and the night air was beginning to breeze through, the walk was easier than anticipated. Then we began walking up the hill.

As we slowly climbed the steep concrete hill, a noise filled the air. It wasn't a boom, it wasn't a crash, but it was something that took hold of us and made us turn around. That sound was the sound of our cooler bursting open and unleashing what was inside! A clutter of ice, food and alcohol decorated that blacktop floor as onlookers gasped at the event that just took place. The onlookers, sympathizing with our dilemna, stepped up and prevented our alcohol from getting away from us. We began laughing and breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of kind concert goers helping us out. After the laughing had died down, we continued on our trip. We finally arrived to our seating location which was the very last row: perfect. The best thing about the Hollywood Bowl is the amazing acoustics in this place. All of my experiences there have been some of the best live shows I have ever seen and that reason was the killer sound that fills this place. This is one venue where it doesn't matter where you sit, you will be entertained. We were finding our comfortable spots when a woman asked Oscar if she can use his lighter. Oscar passed his lighter to the woman thinking a cigarette was about to be lit. Instead, she used the lighter to light her joint. She gave the lighter back, said 'thank you' and returned to her friends. Was it rude that she didn't offer Oscar a hit for his efforts to helping her light her joint? We believed it was.

Once we had settled into our awesome seats, we began the concert with a few drinks and snacks. I cooled off with a Sam Adams and enjoyed that last few moments of  The Bird and the Bee's performance. During our down time, we enjoyed more drinks and snacks and an unwanted visitor joined our party: a creepy-crawly spider. There was a slight uproar coming from Lex as she exclaimed: "Kill it!". Then, without hesitation, Mondo took charge and, with his magic hands, exterminated the eight-legged party crasher. Mondo was praised for his bravery, but this would not be the last time Mondo would be in the spotlight, for the night was just beginning.

I noticed that Mondo had brought with him a new beverage: Red Stripe Light. This was a new beer that had just hit the market and it was a hit with our group. She and Him took that stage and, once the alcohol began coursing through our bladders, some of us had to go to the bathroom. Mondo, Oscar and I had begun scouting the area for a good spot to smoke our joints. There was no better place than where we were sitting because there were no security personnel to be seen on the path. So, we decided on the spot where our ritual was to take place and Oscar and Mondo went to take care of business and I stayed to enjoy She and Him's music which was really mellow and it went perfect with my combination of Sam Adams and the greens we had before. Mondo walked down the hill to get a glimpse of the band when I noticed a beautiful woman leave the facilities. She was brunette and was wearing a red dress with white polka dots, awesome stockings and some kick-ass heels. She looked very cute and very vintage, that's a + in my book. She looked like a real live version of Minnie Mouse. She began walking towards Mondo's direction and noticed the Red Stripe Light which he was holding in his hand. I watched in awe as this girl was taken in by this man's beer! Mondo began charming the girl and smiles were exchanged. I observed and thought to myself: "Fucking Mondo!". That is when Oscar exited the facilities and joined me where I was standing. He noticed that my attention was drawn towards Mondo  conversing with this striking woman. We looked at each other and began laughing to ourselved. We saw the exchange in numbers between the two and Mondo walked back to our spot with a grin that stretched from ear to ear. We praised his efforts and began our ritual. There was no rush, no crowd and no worries as we smoked our joint in peace. We each kept an eye out for anything that might disrupt us, but there was no threat. We finished our joint and joined our friends to enjoy the show.

As you can see in these  photos we were definitely the music and the herb.She and Him played a great set which included an amazing cover of I Put a Spell onYou which made their performance just a little bit sweeter.I was not aware that the band had a classic sound OR the fact that Zooey Deschanel was the vocalist! I guess I was the only one who'd thought that because my friends looked at me like I just said I didn't know who Michael Jackson was or something. Sorry guys.The sun had set and we awaited the next band to take the stage. While we waited, a member of the venue's security reprimanded Ashley for smoking a cigarette in an undesignated smoking area. We laughed and pointed at her misfortune and she gave us a 'Fuck Your Lives' stare. Shortly after, Mondo began to light the other joint that was in his possession. Our spot was amazing because we were up against the wall and it was dark: perfect. We smoked the joint, shared a few laughs and then the Swell Season started their set. Their music was different than what I'm used to hearing, but I appreciated some of the elements in their songwriting. The music was mellow but very dramatic which I thought was a great way to balance out their sound. Then, the female singer of the group, Marketa Irglova, sang a beautiful and haunting song called If You Want Me . This song pierced right through me and made me sit still and take in every note that escaped her body. I, along with the entire audience, were cast under her spell of meloncholy but soothing voice as it filled the Hollywood Bowl. The show continued with great music. There were many quiet moments throughout the show and during one song, the singer was gently strumming to a slow song, the audience was feeling it and then the sound of a creaky ice cooler abruptly took over his soft melody. We looked back to see who the culprit was and it was none other than Katt who contributed to the song. We put her on the spot and we all 'shhhhhhhshhh'd' her and we all had a good laugh.

The show came to a conclusion. The food was eaten, the beer was drunk and we had the night ahead of us. What to do now? I suggested we go to Jumbo's Clown Room , a burlesque bar in Hollywood. Everyone agreed with this choice and we ventured toward the famous bar. Katt didn't have her license on her, so she had to borrow Lex's license to get into the bar. After a few slips of the hand, the license was back to its rightful owner and we entered Jumbo's. The dancers were entertaining like always and we were all able to get a seat at the bar which was a nice treat. As we began drinking our Pabst Blue Ribbons and were enjoying the performances on stage, we noticed that Mondo had begun conversing with an unsual woman. She had a red t-shirt with writing that I was not able to make out what was written across her chest, but I'm sure Mondo got a front row view of what it said. She had short hair and we then noticed her unusual makeup choice. She had a giant streak of blue makeup that went across both eyes. She looked like a modern-day version of The two were laughing and then Mondo managed to take our attention from the beautiful dancers to him as he was about to set up a joke. Mondo, in all of his drunken wisdom, felt it was time to unveil what is one of the worst jokes I had ever heard in my life. He began with saying, "I don't usually do this. i don't drink and...". At this point, Mondo made a gesture as if to seem like he was driving and automobile. During this pint in the joke, the person is supposed to contribute to the joke by asking "driving?" Mondo's punchline was "no, I drink and drive. I usually don't drink and Jack 2Guys Off"! We were stunned and disappointed at his attempt at humor. We quickly turned our attention back to the girls. One of the dancers, Katy Cupcakes performed an awesome dance number. She is known to take over that stage and just dominate it with her acrobatic style of dancing. During her routine, one of her 8-inch heels broke off, but that did not slow her down one bit. She finished the dance like a champ and got a very well-deserved round of applause.

Just before we were getting ready to leave, we noticed that Mondo had been unusually quiet. We look to see what was wrong and we witnessed Mondo making out with the girl who, as described by Ashley, looks like Michael Stipe from REM. We were confused at how, after listening to that HORRIBLE joke, that she still decided to get down. All I know is, is that Mondo had a good time. We ALL had a good time. After we left Jumbo's Clown Room,we stopped to get some late night food at Del Taco and after we arrived to our final destination. We exited the van and that's when the alcohol and motion of the car began to hit those who might have had a little too much to drink. Melissa, the owner of the van, took a short trip to the neighbor's bushes to regurgitate the vodka that had upset her stomach. Mondo staggered out of the van and began making insults and telling everybody to shut up and demanded his crunch taco. The way Mondo attacked that taco reminded me of a pack of hungry hyenas preying on a fresh carcass. What I didn't notice was that he was simply eating what was left of the taco: a shell and a few pieces of lettuce and sauce. Ashley then yelled out,"Hey!". We looked down to see that all of the ingredients that were supposed to stay in the shell were now scattered on Ashley's driveway. I began to laugh hysterically and then decided that I was in no condition to experience any more craziness. So, we advised Mondo to sleep it off in his car, Ashley took Skylar and Melissa home and I returned home and was analyzing all that had happened in those few hours that we were away. And it all began with a phone call.

**To hear a recap of that incredible night, listen to the Lowdown Radio Show**

Listen to  the beautiful studio version of If You Want Me !

Hollywood is Dead

Hello all of you Club-goers! I'm sorry for not being able to update this blog as much as I would have like to in the past 1/2 weeks. There's just been a lot going on in my head;too much for me to sit down and gather my thoughts in an orderly manner anyway. I was debating on what to write about for my next topic: world events, entertainment news, music, personal philosophies and films. Well, I was doing some snooping around and something I read just kicked me in the fucking balls right now! I was trying to gather information about the film MARTYRS, a great French Horror film that totally blew my mind, to write a review to get more people to watch it. As I was gathering data about the film, I stumbled upon some disturbing news. I couldn't believe what i was reading. I had to make sure some of this information was true and sure enough, after doing a little more research, I saw these dreadful words: 'Martyrs Remake eyes Kristen Stewart'. I read the whole story on The Movie Blog and I was left speechless.

I thought I had just gotten over the Karate Kid remake that was recently released worldwide to a new generation who haven't seen or who don't know about the awesomeness of the original John Avildsen classic. All they're going to gather is a half-assed performance by a shitty actor, Jaden Smith, son of another shitty actor, Will Smith. What this generation is gonna see, and spend their good money on, is another lazy attempt by Hollywood to release films of little or no substance just to make a quick buck. I guess that's what the entire scheme of the illusion of Hollywood is, right? Now, for those of you who know me personally, or who follow my rants on Facebook, know how I feel about remakes. For me, personally, I know remakes have been around since the dawn of cinema, but today it's just out of control. I say, if you're making an attempt at a remake, you  had better bring something to the table. Otherwise, don't even fucking bother wasting our time with your lazy, shitty excuse of a film. Remakes are like their own category now. I bet within my lifetime, awards will be handed out for best movie remake. Now don't get me wrong, there have been a few remake gems that are worth mentioning because the director brought his/her own vision and take on them and made it their own. Films like John Carpenter's THE THING, Tom Savini's NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN have proved that you can put your own twist and interpretation on a classic and still make it tolerable to watch. I just realized that all of the films I mentioned were horror films, interesting. I mention horror films because there's a great element with horror and that is the scare. When watching a great horror film, you do get that little chill that slowly crawls up your spine and progresses through the little hairs on the back of your neck and causes you to shift in your seat to a more comfortable position. That right there is the creative team placing you in these situations and making you escape reality. You know a horror film is great when you can watch it again and again, knowing full well what is going to happen and to who, yet you still go for the ride because there's a certain part of our psyche that wants to experience the thrill again.

Now, what these parasites in Hollywood have done is take someone else's creation and hard work and sell the name. They go for the quick jolt and make a lot of noise, but their films don't say shit! Earlier this summer I made the unfortunate mistake of giving the remake of one of my favorite horror franchises, A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, a chance. When I arrived to the theater, I was almost certain that the movie would be an utter failure. But, a little voice inside of me said,'maybe this won't be so bad. Maybe Hollywood can get something right this time and the old school horror fans will appreciate the attempt to remake a horror classic'. That little voice was immediately silenced when I purchased my ticket. I asked the theater employee what he thought about the film. His response was hesitant: not a good sign. He looked up at the ceiling as if looking to the heavens for the right answer. The words that escaped his mouth were,'it's for kids. It's just really loud, that's all'. This coming from the person who is taking my money! I bought the ticket anyway and decided I had to see this first hand.

My experience watching this film was one of the worst cinematic experiences I have ever had. The writing was weak, the directing was shit and the narrative was poorly structured. We weren't quite sure who the focus of the film was because the director spent so much time concentrating on one character and doesn't bring the main focus on the main character til past the halfway mark of the film. There was no originality in the story at all. Many scenes were blatantly ripped from the original and the dialogue was some of the worst lines I had ever heard. It was like I said when I first saw the trailer in theaters: "man, this is like Degrassi!". My words remain true.

I believe Hollywood has created a monster and it doesn't look like the end is in sight. As aspiring filmmakers  live, eat and breathe films and who suffer for their art, Hollywood is trying to cash in on what was once pure and authentic. All these manufactured and mass-produced films are making it more and more difficult for filmmakers with promise to leave their mark with the masses. Multiplex cinemas devour independently owned theaters to showcase mind-numbing crap that has no substance. We must support independent theaters who feature independent films because these films will surprise you. There are many stories just waiting to find an audience. These are the films that tackle subjects that will intrigue you, shock you and make think.

Some films Hollywood has recently remade and/or planning to remake for a quick dollar.

House on Sorority Row Original Trailer

Sorority Row Remake

I Spit on your Grave Original Trailer

I Spit on your Grave Remake

"Chaos Reigns"

No film,as long as I can remember, has moved me or shocked me quite like Lar Von Tier's masterpiece ANTICHRIST. This film is one that should not be missed. No film I know has left such an indellible mark on the psyche of its viewers like Antichrist. The only film that I can think of that has made such a profound impact would be William Friedkin's classic film The Exorcist,which is one of my favorite films of all time. When I ask people who have seen Antichrist, their initial reaction is "Fuck, that movie's crazy!". It never fails!

It was New Year's Eve 2009 when I got the first and only review of the film and it was summed up by my friend, James, in one word: "Dude!". I knew what the 'dude' meant. I knew it was something that I couldn't pass up. I knew it meant something more than just a well-written or well-directed movie. It was more. I remember reading about it in Fangoria magazine, but I just didn't follow up on it. Needless to say, as soon as I heard my friend's one-word review, I read online that the New Beverly Theater, my favorite movie theater, was screening the film for 3 days only in January. I couldn't pass this up.

It was Friday, January 8th, 2010 when we experienced Antichrist for the first time. I went to the Los Angeles venue with my good friends Mike and Ale. I was excited for several reasons. I took my friends to the Amoeba record store in Hollywood for the first time and they had a blast. Like every visit to Amoeba, they didn't know where to start or where to finish. I was also excited to be introducing my friends to their first movie-going experience at the New Beverly Theater and the fact that we were watching this controversial film for the first time and on the last night of the film's screening. Little did we know what we were getting ourselves into.

We had arrived at the theater and anxiously awaited the box office to open. Once we purchased our tickets, we made our way inside and found a comfortable location to watch the film. We stocked up on the essentials: popcorn, soft drink and some candy and waited for the film to begin. One of the things that I love about this theater is wide variety of trailers. We were treated to a beautiful trailer of Alejandro Jodorowski's film Santa Sangre which was a nice way to kick off the evening. Then the film began.

The films begins and within the first few moments we knew it was going to take us plad. Don't be fooled by the title. Don't be expecting 2 priests trying to exorcise a possessed girl and don't be expecting a gunslinging dischiple of god to fight off demonic forces.The film is about a grieving couple: HE played by Willem Dafoe and SHE played by Charlotte Gainsbourg who are coping with the recent death of their son. An interesting thing about the film, besides the fact that there are only 2 central characters in the entire film, is that everyone else's faces are blurred out. Dafoe plays a therapist who is trying to help his wife through the grieving process through psychotherapy. The couple retreat to the place She revealed she is most afraid of. This place, called Eden, is the cabin where she spent her last summer with her son while working on her thesis on gynocide.

The director uses some awesome images and special effect shots that make you question you just saw. There were a few moments during the film in which I asked my friends if they had just seen what I saw or was I losing it. The effects are very subtle and very effective to the story. There are images in this film that I will never forget. Just when I think things can't get more surreal, von Trier ups the stakes more and more as He slowly unravels She's descent into madness.

As He begins to understand what is occuring with his wife, it is too late. She unleashes a fury like I or few of us had ever seen or could ever imagine. She's madness is not only psychological, but it manifests itself physically which is where the film's true power lies. I had never squirmed or been tempted to look away from a movie screen, but this film took me right to the edge. Just when I was about to turn my ahead from the madness that was occuring, I told myself "No. You can't miss this. This is too important to miss". I am forever grateful for not turning away. I wasn't alone. Not only was I affected, but the entire theater was gasping, then screaming, then cursing at the screen. The theater came to life and everybody knew they were seeing something great. It was like a dirty little secret that only few people knew about. I remember thinking that whoever wasn't in that theater was definitely missing out on something special.

Once the storm had calmed and the film came to an end, the theater was left in a deafening silence. Everybody felt something that they couldn't explain. We exited the theater and shared a cigarette with fellow movie-goers. Everybody was looking at each other and were giving slight gestures and nods. It was like they were saying to each other:"Yeah, we just saw that.Wow". After the awkward silence gave way into small talk, that's when I realized the power of what I had just seen. We were talking to strangers about their thoughts and feeling and interpretations of the film. It wasn't the usual "how did you like it?" type of talk. It was more. It was deep. It was going to stay with us.

Last month I obtained a copy of Antichrist and showed it to my friends Ashley and Lex. I told them that I wanted to see this film with them when they first saw it to see their reactions. I do this all the time to make it feel like I'm watching something for the first time. Their reactions and comments took me back to that darkened theater in Los Angeles watching this amazing film. The film pushed my friends to the edge. I even pulled out the 'Friend Card' to make sure they didn't miss one single frame during the climax of the film. That's how great this film is. Sure they hated me afterwards, but it was well worth it.

This film is definitely one that is not going away. It created quite a scene at the 2009 Cannes Film Festival. In fact, it was reported that at least 4 people fainted due to the graphic violence portrayed in the film. Charlotte Gainsbourg received the festival's Best Actress Award which she deserves. Gainsbourg takes risks in Antichrist that I don't think many film actresses would have taken or are afraid to even touch.

If you get a chance, please watch Antichrist. It's not an easy trip, but it's definitely something you won't want to miss. They have been showing the film on the IFC channel, but there are edits made. It is best to view the unrated version *download*. There is a beautiful download available out there.

Antichrist Trailer

"100% Medically Accurate"

I did it! I finally saw the film I had wanted to see since I first saw the trailer a few months back. The film was The Human Centipede (First Sequence) directed by Tom Six. When I first witnessed the now notorious trailer, my initial reaction was "Why am I barely finding out about this?!" Nedless to say, the first thing I did was to spread the word. I posted the infamous trailer on my Facebook profile and received immediate responses. My friend Ashley replied: "You know...I love IFC films. But I fear this movie at one point is going to make me vomit. So...you see it, then tell me how it goes. When it comes out on Dvd". With a response like that from only watching the trailer, how could you not be excited for this movie?!

I posted the trailer on April 7th and the screening was to be held on May 14th. For a month, I tried to persuade my peers to watch this exciting new film, but the answers I kept hearing were "maybe" and "Hell No, Foo!". Hearing this only made me want to watch the film even more than before and with the screening date drawing near, I grew anxious and curious as to what the film would deliver.

 So, the day had finally arrived. It was Friday, May 14th and myself and a few comrades who were brave enough to join me to witness this film ventured towards Los Angeles. On our way to the screening, my friend, Pedro, phoned me and gave me devastating news. He informed me that the theater hosting the event announced on Facebook that the film had sold out! This was to be expected. Especially after all the buzz the trailer and the premise of the film had created. We were down but not out. We made the best of it and dined at the famous Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles and then proceeded to a fun-filled night of entertainment at Jumbo's Clown Room . 

But, all was not lost. My friend, Katt,  informed me that The Human Centipede was being featured on On Demand available through Time Warner in the IFC Films Channel! Needless to say, I was more than happy to hear the news. We discussed seeing it in a group setting and decided to watch it all together. Well, last week, Katt phoned me and asked me to help her with her short horror film project she was working on. As the night drew on, we joked about watching the movie, and after dining on some great lasagne, we decided that it was definitely the time to experience this film. There were some objections from our friends about whether or not they wanted to see the film or not. But, after some encouraging words were shared, they agreed to tough it out and take the ride with us.

The film did NOT disappoint one bit! It was, in my opinion, well worth the wait. The cinematography was great and very well-paced to give the viewer a sense of discomfort and tension. The film starts off great with Doctor Heiter brilliantly played by German actor Dieter Laser beginning his new experiment. The other 2 "subjects" of the human centipede are 2 American tourists in Europe played by Ashley C. Williams and Ashlynn Yennie. At first, I was curious to see if I would sympathize with them or if I would want these girls involved in the sadistic experiment. In less then a minute of screen time, I made up my mind and decided that these girls are gonna get it and I don't care.

The actresses did a very good job playing naive and maybe clueless tourists wandering the woods after they blow their tire in a country road. I liked the way the director used some humor during the scenes when the girls are lost and stumble upon the evil Doctor Heiter's house. It took me back to 80's slasher flicks in which the female victims wander aimlessly throughout the forest calling on their boyfriend's names just asking for a ratchet through the face. Once they arrive in Heiter's home, that's when all the chaos ensues. The female guests quickly become patients of his and his diabolical experiment is unravelled to his subjects. The experiment being he wants to connect three subjects together by their gastrointestinal tract. You've got it! Ass to Mouth to Ass to Mouth! Also, the ligaments in their knees have been severed making it impossible to extend their legs thus making escape nearly impossible. What sells the experiment is the performance by Laser and the simple diagram he draws to explain his evil plan. His coolness is just as frightening as his temper tantrums and he does not hold back by any means.

As the film goes on and the experiments are executed, I was completely engulfed in the world of this mad surgeon. I felt helpless and crippled and anxious to see what lay ahead for the characters in the film. Another great factor of the film was its pacing. The story moved in a steady pace which contributed greatly to the suspense of the movie. The director didn't use fast-paced cutting tricks like how a majority of films do now. It definitely didn't feel like I was watching another Saw torture movie. This film definitely stood out. What I truly loved about the movie was the fact that we hardly see any of the grotesque elements we expect to see. When I first began watching this film, I was expecting to see a canvas painted in shit, blood and tears, but I didn't. No, I saw what was necessary to the story and the experience and I was not disappointed. The actors did an amazing job in bringing these characters to life, or what little they had left, and did not for one second make me second guess them.

I will not give anything away because I am not that type of person. All I've got to say is that you must see this film. It is a film that will definitely not disappoint. I recommend watching it with a group of friends to see who gets disturbed easily and who has or doesn't have the stomach for this great story.

Here is the trailer that sparked controversy and my interest. Enjoy, kiddies!

The Human Centipede Trailer

Please give me feedback on what you thought of this film or this post. It is greatly appreciated.